i worked in a kitchen when i was younger, got sent for a leg of samon, which i would find in the freezer next to the box of chicken lips! i never found the tartan food coloruing either! had much fun sending live lobsters up in the dumb waiter, to the reasurant floor, and listening to the girls screaming when they opened the door.
in halfords the other day, i cam across camoflage paint, the tin is all different colours, green brown etc. and in extremly small text on the tin it says, three colours needed to get this effect, wonder how many daft sods purchased thinking it would be camo spray!