gavinparson

« Reply #308 on: Jan 12, 2012, 9:49 am »
 

in halfords the other day, i cam across camoflage paint, the tin is all different colours, green brown etc. and in extremly small text on the tin it says, three colours needed to get this effect, wonder how many daft sods purchased thinking it would be camo spray!


You get three colours in a tube of Aquafresh toothpaste!

studlyone

« Reply #307 on: Jan 12, 2012, 9:22 am »
 
In my younger days in the Army we had a new lad posted in and I thought I'd have a laugh with him so I gave him an axe and told him to hand it back in at the QM (Quarter Masters) Stores but before he did so i wanted him to give a memo to the OC (Officer Commanding).
 
He duly knocked on the OC's door and marched in before handing him the memo. If you picture the scene - the OC is reading the memo and he is stood there with an axe.  The OC read the note and then asked if he had written it. He replied that he hadn't. The OC then gave him the note to read and he went white after reading it. It said.
 
"Sir, If you don't give me some leave I will chop up your desk with this axe."
 
Needless to say I didn't enjoy doing the extra duties but it was well worth it to hear him being balled out of the OCs office LOL.  ;D

« Reply #306 on: Jan 12, 2012, 8:40 am »
 
we sent the lad with a hold up note to the sandwich shop.
he thought it was a sarni list

« Reply #305 on: Jan 11, 2012, 9:18 pm »
 
i worked in a kitchen when i was younger, got sent for a leg of samon, which i would find in the freezer next to the box of chicken lips! i never found the tartan food coloruing either! had much fun sending live lobsters up in the dumb waiter, to the reasurant floor, and listening to the girls screaming when they opened the door.

in halfords the other day, i cam across camoflage paint, the tin is all different colours, green brown etc. and in extremly small text on the tin it says, three colours needed to get this effect, wonder how many daft sods purchased thinking it would be camo spray!

saor gaoith

« Reply #304 on: Jan 11, 2012, 8:40 pm »
 
I seem to remember sending apprentices for buckets of steam, striped paint, blue sparks for the grind stone etc etc. Unfortunately, as an first week apprentice myself, I remember telling a foreman to go practice the anchient and noble art of self impregnation when he tried to convince me to go to the local labour exchange to get wet time cards. I wasn't about to fall for that one.

« Reply #303 on: Jan 11, 2012, 6:45 pm »
 
Have you tried inhaling whisky?  ???

Yes. Copied the idea from man lab

« Reply #302 on: Jan 11, 2012, 6:01 pm »
 
I have sent a few apprentices for a box of half inch holes   :D :D

Jon Pert

« Reply #301 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:38 pm »
 
I think the longest we got someone to hang around for was 2 and half hours. We had a work experience bod in and I sent him round the corner to the weight manufacturer to pick up the long weight I had ordered.

Rang the manufacturer while the guy was on his way round to warn him of his impending arrival.

Work experience bloke duly arrives and announces he is "here for the long weight Jon ordered". Manufacturer says they are just finishing calibrating it and will be ready shortly. At regular intervals he pops his head round the corner to announce, "nearly ready".

2 and a half hours later the work experience lad quietly leaves the manufacturer and comes back.





















He didn't get the joke.  :(

gavinparson

« Reply #300 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:31 pm »
 
Was there a long weight on there? Always a good one when I was in the weighing industry.


There's plenty of those in sash windows!

Jon Pert

« Reply #299 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:28 pm »
 
I particularly like the left handed screwdriver - I was surprised to find out only tightens screws on one side a a vehicle - I've obviously been doing it wrong all those years  ::) .  I see the old favourites are all there - skyhooks and round tuits, etc  ;D

Was there a long weight on there? Always a good one when I was in the weighing industry.

« Reply #298 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:24 pm »
 
Dont forget your seven ten cap  :)   http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=19

I particularly like the left handed screwdriver - I was surprised to find out only tightens screws on one side a a vehicle - I've obviously been doing it wrong all those years  ::) .  I see the old favourites are all there - skyhooks and round tuits, etc  ;D

Jon Pert

« Reply #297 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:09 pm »
 
If anyone has won the lottery recently Registration Transfers have HOV3R  for £9,000   !!

That doesn't spell anything!  :P

If anyone owns a Mitsubishi L200 in a couple of years they can buy my reg off me when my truck goes back. L200 HOV.

In a similar vein, followed a Jag the other day with the plate UPU 51R. It was spaced like this UP U 51R, found it mildly amusing!

« Reply #296 on: Jan 11, 2012, 5:00 pm »
 
Must try the "Engine oil bypass kit" and the "cross drilled brake lines".......................... ;)

Dont forget your seven ten cap  :)   http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=19

« Reply #295 on: Jan 11, 2012, 4:54 pm »
 
had lager shot up my nose.
more painful than gout.

« Reply #294 on: Jan 11, 2012, 4:41 pm »
 
Have you tried inhaling whisky?  ???


I've 'snorted' a tea spoon of brandy in my younger years..... That makes your eyes water  :'( ???
Russ..