Kip

« Reply #1753 on: Feb 06, 2016, 2:44 pm »
 
Stop this at once  Or I WILL START.
Be warned , I have my Loo Log of a thousand jokes.

Kurmdegely Kip   >:( >:( >:( >:(

« Reply #1752 on: Feb 06, 2016, 2:41 pm »
 
     
                        And a large Jewelry Box.        :-\   


                                                                                 Tom.

« Reply #1751 on: Feb 06, 2016, 12:02 pm »
 
Hanging in the wardrobe? :o
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #1750 on: Feb 06, 2016, 11:28 am »
 
Now look what you have started! My go;


Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: £5.00 (expensive beer :o )
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs £5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at £450. In one year, it would be approximately £5,400. correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend £5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at £108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari?
National Sarcasm Society - like we need your support
http://www.patsure.com

« Reply #1749 on: Feb 06, 2016, 9:35 am »
 
Thank you Tom, another classic approach. Goes down well with the cornflakes!
A bit like the boyfriend signing his name in the snow with URINE, ---but it was in his girlfriends writing-----


Yes Eric, it was told to a friend of mine --in Church!
I expressed surprise. and he said "humour doesn't stop inside you know------"
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #1748 on: Feb 06, 2016, 12:10 am »
 
[quote author=Nick Flint link=topic=1588.msg48135#msg48135 date=1454536133
"WHOS BoB-----? :o   
 
Told the wife this one & got the "Oh, for goodness..." & the  ::) ::) .. An hour later heard her on the phone to our daughter cacking herself over it...

« Reply #1747 on: Feb 05, 2016, 11:02 pm »
 
                                             Daughter to Father:
                                       "Dad there is something my
                                         boyfriend said to me, that I
                                         didn't understand. He said
                                          that I 'have a beautiful
                                          chassis, lovely airbags and
                                         and a fantastic bumper.

                                        Father's response:
                                          "Tell your boyfriend that if he
                                          opens your bonnet and tries
                                           to check your oil with his
                                          dipstick, I will tighten his nuts
                                          so hard that his headlights
                                          will pop out and he will start
                                            leaking from his exhaust
                                              pip."

                                                                                              Tom. 

« Reply #1746 on: Feb 05, 2016, 5:07 pm »
 
That took a second...............................then LOV V V L
A BHC Marlin mk3 and Coastal Pro  Owner

« Reply #1745 on: Feb 04, 2016, 7:47 pm »
 
Pmsl.
Tears down my leg etc.

« Reply #1744 on: Feb 03, 2016, 9:48 pm »
 
Two Middle aged women chatting about Tattoos and one decides to go for it.
She tells the operator, "I REALLY like Butterflies can I have one on each Buttock?"
"Why YES was the retort"!---- Lie FACE Down on here------"
She exits, most delighted with the result.
Her friend, feeling a rush of enthusiasm also enters saying--
"I REALLY like Bees, Can I have one on each Buttock?"
"Why YES was the retort, lie face down on here"
Returning home, that night she proudly explains to her husband who says,
"Well lets be seeing then"!
She pulls her knickers down and bends over for him to have a good look.
After a while the husband asked---------
"WHOS BoB-----? :o 
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #1743 on: Feb 03, 2016, 9:39 pm »
 
Just received from Dave Ibbotson in Gran Canaria  8)
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #1742 on: Feb 02, 2016, 12:16 am »
 
I hope it comes with decent guy ropes to stop it taking off! Although the bed appears to have seat belts.

gavinparson

« Reply #1741 on: Feb 01, 2016, 6:45 pm »
 
Don't fancy sleeping on the ground?


http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00E9WHTMC

« Reply #1740 on: Jan 28, 2016, 7:14 pm »
 
Kip,
You haven't been drinking the stuff have you?

Kip

« Reply #1739 on: Jan 28, 2016, 4:26 pm »
 
Why don't we pronounce diesel as dysel?
We don't recive stuff.

Just a thought.

Kluless Kip

Ps, Gonna start a new fashion house called Paraffin. Any one want a tee shirt?