« Reply #208 on: Nov 17, 2011, 8:40 pm »


« Reply #207 on: Nov 12, 2011, 4:22 pm »
Brilliant, especially - "Took hammer away from midget"


« Reply #206 on: Nov 12, 2011, 2:16 pm »
 I apologize in advance if this is old, but it made me smile…… :)
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet(aka:log
 book), which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the
 aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics
 read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower
 half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews
 the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
 ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
 logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots
 and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas
 is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
 (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
 (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
 P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
 S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
 P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
 S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 P: Something loose in cockpit.
 S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 P: Dead bugs on windshield.
 S: Live bugs on back-order.
 P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
 S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
 P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
 S: Evidence removed.
 P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
 S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
 S: That's what they're there for.
 P: IFF inoperative.
 S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 P: Suspected crack in windshield.
 S: Suspect you're right.
 P: Number 3 engine missing.
 S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 P: Aircraft handles funny.
 S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
 P: Target radar hums.
 S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 P: Mouse in cockpit.
 S: Cat installed.
 P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
 pounding on something with a hammer.
 S: Took hammer away from midget

« Reply #205 on: Nov 06, 2011, 6:43 pm »
Seems that it would be so much more inherently stable if the chap was "under slung" so to speak with the blades above him. "Tentative flight" but so would I be! GNF
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #204 on: Nov 05, 2011, 2:53 pm »
Well their is no way I would have a go on this loads of blades to chop you up if you crash it ??? ???
I do like the space hopper landing gear  :D :D

« Last Edit: Nov 05, 2011, 3:05 pm by Trev »


« Reply #203 on: Nov 04, 2011, 9:55 pm »
do we have a moderator on this web  :P

« Reply #202 on: Nov 04, 2011, 8:51 pm »
Not all its cracked up to be. Sorrie comms onlie kidding GNF
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

« Reply #201 on: Nov 04, 2011, 7:45 pm »
That is too horrible to even contemplate  :P


« Reply #200 on: Nov 04, 2011, 5:55 pm »
Just as long as you don't put an F in front for Flints.
Ok, Off to the naughty step.

« Reply #199 on: Nov 04, 2011, 5:23 pm »
Strangely one prefered the Cooked Sparrow Version but that gets to the point admirably! Mike, can you do some graphics for my machine if I ask nicely? Kingfisher is the name so theres a clue there. Please note it is not spelt, "King Fissure". That is something totally different and Jane said it was our secret.
 ;)  GNF
Memories are BETTER than Dreams---"Capn" FLINT

Mick Pike

« Reply #198 on: Nov 04, 2011, 9:05 am »
Dead sparrow goes to heaven !!!!!!!!! :P

« Reply #197 on: Nov 02, 2011, 5:05 pm »
There is a training course in there somewhere for you, Philip.

No problem, I'll get some help from MikeS and Ian B to develop it and then I can deliver it. Starting with read the manual and carry out the checklist ;D ;D

saor gaoith

« Reply #196 on: Nov 01, 2011, 10:53 pm »
There is a training course in there somewhere for you, Philip.

« Reply #195 on: Nov 01, 2011, 9:16 pm »

Ian mentioned landing gear on another thread?


« Reply #194 on: Oct 31, 2011, 7:57 pm »
    reverse for sevtecs